


His Secrets

by Rawrlove19



Category: Janoskians
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Depression, Fights, Gen, Mental Breakdown, Self Harm, Twins, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-04-04 18:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14025978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawrlove19/pseuds/Rawrlove19
Summary: Luke finds something he wasn't supposed to , but he didn't think anything of it. What was that thing you ask? It was Jai's diary. How Luke is starting to notice all of the signs that his twin brother isn't okay and hasn't been for awhile. What will he do? And more Importantly, what will happen to Jai?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I realize the plot on this one is going to be similar to one of my other books, but trust me this is going to be a whole lot different. Anyways I’m back from my unofficial hiatus (hopefully). Just wanted to let you guys know that your comments, votes, and follows mean the world to me. Please let me know what you think. Your comments give me the motivation to write!

“Do you ever feel like life is just passing you by? Like everything you do is never going to be good enough? I feel like that all of the time. It's like no matter how hard I try I can never be good enough. No one expects much from me anyways. Want to know why? Because I'm Jai Brooks, the raging FIFA addict."

~  
Luke stared at the notebook in his hands blankly, trying to comprehend what he had just read. What even was that? Was it Jai's diary? He shook his head slowly and placed the notebook back on Jai's bed where he had found it. 

Luke was concerned about his twin, but his investigation could wait. He was a busy guy and if Jai even suspected he had read his diary then he would get his head bit off. Luke knew that something was up with Jai. He'd actually known something was wrong for a while, but now it was getting worse. 

Jai used to be laid back, easy going, and shy. Now for some reason he was always angry and when someone pissed him off he would have an extremely short fuse.

There had to be something going on with his twin brother. He knew it. He was worried and honestly he had every right to be. 

Luke made a mental note to check up on this, but for now it was time to film a video. 

~  
"Hey guys we're the Janoskians!" The four Aussie boys chorused perfectly for once. "And this is Extreme Truth or Dare!"

The four guys were in chairs sitting around the pool table. As in usual Janoskian fashion they were filming the intro of their video last. Things had been really intense with this video. 

Beau had thrown up four times. Daniel had thrown up twice. Jai was quiet and almost uncooperative. And Luke was just trying to hold the entire video on his shoulders like usual. 

"Good video boys!" Beau chuckled, slapping Jai on the shoulder. "When is Jamie supposed to be coming over?"

"He said he'd be here whenever he got here or never." Jai answered distantly. 

"Or never?" Luke asked, raising an eyebrow at his twin brother in confusion. 

"Yeah he went to a party last night and things happened. It's a long story, Like, don't worry about it."

"Whatever." Luke scoffed, annoyed that Jai wouldn't just tell him. What Luke didn't notice was Jai biting his lip and looking down sadly. 

"Luke, hurry up and edit!" Beau yelled obnoxiously in Luke's direction, causing Luke to flip him off. 

"Luke?" Jai asked suddenly. "I can tell you anything right?" 

"Of course, Jai Jai, you know that..." Luke answered furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. As far as Luke was concerned, they did tell each other everything. They were twins. They were in it together.  

"I...uh..." Jai trailed off and looked away again. "Nevermind, it's not important..." 

"Jai, if something is bothering you, I'm always here for you." Luke promised, giving his twin brother a kind look. Jai hadn't been the sam for awhile now and everyone could see that. Luke wasn't crazy. Jai was hurting and he just wished he would open up to someone.

"I know that, Lukey. I'm just being dumb like usual. Don't worry about it." Jai laughed, shooting Luke a fake smile. He was going to tell Luke for a minute there. He was going to tell him everything, but then Luke looked concerned. He looked concerned and Jai didn't want to burden him with his problems. "Maybe we could go to the gym?"

"Sorry, Jai. I really need to edit this video right now." Luke sighed. He wanted to go, but he couldn't.

As Luke walked away he didn't see the single tear drop down his brother's face. He had other things to worry about though. He had three other videos besides the one they had just filmed to edit. Then there was that strange diary he found in Jai's room earlier. He definitely needed to investigate that, but he'd have to wait until Jai was gone to do that.

Luke walked into his room and grabbed his laptop before throwing himself down on his bed. He had work to do. As he was editing the video they had just filmed, he noticed it. Jai's eyes looked dead. They looked dull and lifeless like they had lost their spark. They weren't the eyes he remembered his twin brother having at all.

"When did that happen?" Luke asked himself. Curious, he went to their YouTube channel and went back to previous videos from 6 months ago. He still had the dead look in his eyes. luke went back a year. It was worse then. He went back four years.

There it was.

Jai's eyes looked so full of life. He looked so happy and innocent. He looked like a sweet kid that could do no wrong. That was the Jai that Luke remembered. Not whoever this Jai was that looked lifeless and depressed. 

Something was seriously wrong with his brother and he needed to find out exactly what that was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the support! Keep commenting! I'm sorry again for taking a break from writing. I wasn't in a very good mental state, and I'm still not. I am better than what I was though.

It was a whole week before Luke could sneak back into Jai's room to "investigate". Beau had finally had enough of Jai pouting and dragged him off to the movies, giving Luke enough time to search his room again. Luke was worried, but not too worried yet. Jai was moody, yes, but he was probably fine. Jai was just a little overdramatic sometimes. At least, that's what Luke kept telling himself. In all honesty, he couldn't believe that his younger twin was depressed.  

Luke opened the door to Jai's room quietly, although he knew that no one was home. His twin had always been timid and shy, but anymore he was short tempered and violent. Luke didn't really understand why it was happening, he just knew that Jai was so painfully different.

Jai's room was a total mess like usual when Luke walked in. Luke scrunched up his nose in disgust. He had always been the cleaner twin of the two of them. Luke glanced over at Jai's bed. It was a total mess like usual, but something seemed off about it. Luke got closer and decided to pull the blankets off of the bed. Jai's diary had been haphazardly hidden under them, as well as 4 older diaries.

Luke picked up a random one.

"No one really cares about me. I'm starting to realize that. Ariana called me today and told me she cheated on me. She said that all of the stuff I told her about made her want a man that didn't have baggage."

Luke stopped reading. This diary wasn't recent at all. This had happened years ago. How had he not noticed that Jai wasn't okay back then? Had his twin brother really not been okay for this long?

Luke realized with a heavy heart that yes Jai had not been okay for a long time. He had been worse than not okay and no one had noticed a thing. He felt like a horrible brother and an even worse twin.

Where has he been? Where was he when his twin started spiraling down into the ghost of a boy he once knew? Not there for him obviously. Luke had been so busy with the Janoskians and doing whatever he wanted to do, that he hadn't been there for his twin brother. Instead he had cast him to the side like an old T-Shirt. That wasn't okay. At all. Mai was his twin brother and he had let him down more times than he could imagine. He felt like an awful person and an even worse brother. 

Luke picked up another diary. He had to find out more. What had his twin had to deal with alone?

"Life is pretty much pointless at this point. I wake up and feel no motivation to get out of bed. Every day I force a smile on my face because I know that no one cares if I'm sad. No one gives a crap if I'm here or not. I go downstairs and no one even glances at me. Mum is too busy with my brothers to notice. And then my brothers are too caught up in each other and the Janoskians to care. You would think since Luke and I were twins than he would care more about me. But he doesn't. I'm the expendable twin."

Luke felt a tear slip out as he read that entry. He had left Jai all alone and he honestly hated himself for doing that. His brother didn't deserve that.

He put the diaries back where he had found them and walked over to Jai's mirror. He looked at his reflection. How could they be so similar in appearance, but be so far away from each other personality wise and emotionally? 

Luke didn't understand. How could his twin have gotten this bad so fast? It didn't make sense to him. 

///

"Hey Lukey!" The oldest brooks brother greeted his younger brother, barging into the younger boy's room uninvited.

"Beau..." Luke sighed, not in the mood to deal with his older brother.

“Aww that’s so cute. You actually think you can get out of this!” Beau chirped. Luke’s eye twitched in annoyance. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with his older brother’s antics. 

“What do you want Beau!” Luke finally yelled. 

“Calm down Lukey. I was just wondering if you’ve seen Jai. He ditched me at the movies and I haven’t seen him since. It’s getting late and I’m worried.”

Luke’s eyes widened. What if Jai had come home and found him reading his diaries? Had he ran away? Was he hurt? 

Luke just didn’t know.


End file.
